Ministerial Spouses Association
Fresh Strength Newsletter
Male Spouses Perspective
When your wife is called to pastor a church, what is your role as the pastor’s husband? How do you help the church adjust to the fact that the pastor has a husband? What do you do when the welcoming committee gives you a corsage and hands you a bouquet of roses at the first Sabbath service? What do you do when you are invited to the conference's pastors' wives afternoon tea meeting? What do you do in that moment of awkward silence when a church member realizes you are not a visitor but, rather, the pastor’s husband?
Being a pastor’s husband comes with no job description or traditional expectations. Resources, workshops and training for a pastor's wife are commonly available, but limited for the pastor’s husband. Though efforts are now being made to support the pastor's husband, there are very few husbands (scattered all around the North American Division); and this makes it challenge to connect with one another. The wives of pastors have a far greater support system due to their large numbers. In addition to the fewer number of pastors' husbands, men are less likely to seek support or help — until a crisis occurs. As many churches try to adjust to having a woman as a pastor, they are confused even more with how to relate to her husband. Male pastors and their wives are viewed as partners in ministry. Do congregations have that same view for the husband of a pastor?
My role as a pastor’s husband is a new adventure for me as I am sure it is also for you. So, let’s take this journey together to discover what it means to be called a pastor’s spouse.
I’m starting this blog for us who are a pastor's husband, and for the women we’re married to. We may be few in number, but I hope we will connect and share some thoughts. Whether you’re a pastor’s husband, a pastor with a husband or a church member dealing with a pastor’s husband, I welcome your comments, observations and experiences. You may email me at Hernandezj85@yahoo.com. —Jose Hernandez
Jose Hernandez has been married to Ann Roda since 1985, and they cherish their passionate, powerful relationship. Jose is a healthcare chaplain. He is completing his M.S. degree in Pastoral Counseling to become a licensed professional counselor. In addition, Jose is a lay pastor at New Hope SDA Church in Fulton, Maryland, where his wife serves as pastor of children, youth and family ministries.
Jose enjoys walking, hiking and biking in nature, reading and traveling to unique places in this world. He has climbed Mt. Sinai, bicycled in Ireland; ridden on a camel around the Egyptian pyramids, and trekked through the pyramids of Mexico and Belize.
Jose’s vision as a co-minister with his wife is to help others understand their God-given distinctiveness, comprised of their spiritual giftedness, personal style and ministry passion.